Welcome to Vermont: Private Property

New Hampshire is a tourist destination. The residents that live there know they live off of that tourism. Their whole economic existence was built around it. Skiing, kayaking, hiking, amusement parks, foliage viewing, shopping…virtually every leisure activity known to man is provided for and supported. They welcome you with hotels and restaurants, private and chain owned. They smile when they see you as though that makes them happy…because it really does.


Vermont is right next door to New Hampshire. They need tourism too. And they hate that. They hate to acknowledge that fact. They will give in to it begrudgingly because it allows them to exist, but only on their own terms. Vermont is the New England hiding place for the eccentric, the unique, and the outcasts. It was the first New England state to support gay marriage. It is the home of the successful independent (not now though) business known as Ben and Jerry’s. The Vermont people love this place because they are free to be themselves, but realize that letting in those who do not appreciate that one part of personal freedom will ruin it for the rest. So when they let folks in, they do it carefully. They make the rules…and those rule makers do not care how you feel about them. Enjoy yourself…if you can.

Outside of the few big cities in the style of Burlington, there are virtually no chain restaurants. I love this part of Vermont. When you eat out, you support their economy and you always pick up that local flavor. Because the shopping facilities are owned by the locals, they close at reasonable hours. 7PM is late…6PM is usually more like it. There are no billboards littering the highway. I love this too. None of the natural beauty is obscured by the flashy signs that are competing for your attention.

So with all these great qualities, why is Vermont frustrating? Because you have to work so hard to enjoy yourself! The residents, even the ones who own the businesses, only give you help when you ask for it. When they DO give it to you, it comes in spurts and only answers the exact questions you asked. It feels like you have to interrogate them to find the activities you want to enjoy on your vacation.

Here’s an example. We went to the Lake Champlain island chain in North Western Vermont. We wanted to maybe rent a boat for a day (captained or on our own) or maybe to bike the many trails highlighted on the map. If they highlight bike trails, you would think they would avail them to the tourists right? First, the information provided is vague. This leaves you to believe you have to be there to get the info. So we drive there, hoping to get it on location at an information bureau. Nothing. No local bike maps there, no signage for bike or boat rentals, no advertising…period. This is suddenly a little different than the ‘no billboard’ mentality. We went to the local Chamber of Commerce, located in someone’s house. They had hundreds of flyers on “things to do.” Take a closer look though…all the businesses were located off island! “Hey, here is something to do, but it isn’t here. Have a nice day!” Someone finally offered that there were boat rentals. We could not see any indication of a boat rental business. They told us it was a few streets over. Ok. We looked. And we looked more. We found it. At a house. With no signage of course. So where was the owner of this business? Another person gave us the cell number of the owner. We called and got an answering machine. How are these people living off of the tourists? They have no idea how to run a business, or they don’t care. They seem very smart in their eccentricity, so I have concluded it is the latter.

All right. I may have leaped to judgement a little quickly, but I never felt like a visitor…I felt like I was trespassing. Here is another indication I noticed. Most islands and island chains that are interested in ecotourism build the roads on the island along the water. The businesses then are built along the water on the main roads and the homes are slightly inland. Not Vermont. Their island chain is just the opposite. Homes are built on the water everywhere with ‘Private Drive’ signs and the roads are straight down the middle of the island. You can see the water, from a distance, but if you want to enjoy it you have to trespass. So you can’t enjoy it as a tourist, only as a resident. “It’s our island. Go away. Or you can also enjoy it, at your own risk. Figure it out, and, oh yeah, have a nice day.” It is downright weird.

Here is another example of the way locals feel about their home vs. your playland. We were going to drive to Montreal from Stowe. There is a fairly good sized road between the two locations. Not a major highway, but a major road of transit. Route 104. Other than taking the highway, for which you have to go 25 miles south and then north, it is the only way to get to the major route to Montreal. As we are driving, there is a sign that the road is out up ahead and that you will be detoured. Where? You got it, 50 miles out of the way. Why is the road out? Bridge work. So I am looking at my technology, an iPhone with Google maps. I can see an alternate route…in fact a few. So, if that is the case, why send the traffic so far out of the way? I stopped at a local store. I asked if there were alternate routes to get to Montreal. He gave me the party line…50 miles of Vermont hospitality. I showed him my iPhone map and asked again. He looked at me and evaluated me. Then he gave me this approving look and said, “you just want to get to 104 North?” “Yes,” I replied. He got in close as though he were telling me the Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream trade secrets, “go to the blinking light, make a left, go under the covered bridge and over the hill, you will be back on 104 North.” So I did. I swear, it was less than 120 seconds around their little town. They would rather send the tourists 50 miles out of the way than detour them through their town. It was more than an oversight, it was downright mean! These people ARE weird.

So I love Vermont, a little bit. It is great if you want to hide out or if you want to do a lot (and I mean a lot!) of research and come here very prepared, for your vacation. Do the research yourself because if you don’t, you will have to rely on the locals, and they will send you to New Hampshire.

If you don't believe me, scroll back up and look closely at the picture.  They mean it!

Enough about ‘small people’, you guys are ALL stupid on an epic scale

OK, I get it. The comment was insensitive. It can’t go without some degree of criticism.

How does a global oil company, that does business in maybe 50 different languages, screw this one up? Even if you are a simple tourist traveling in Paris with only a rough knowledge of the French language, you know enough to make sure you are not saying “the purple poodle is crapping in my salad” when you are ordering in a restaurant. If you can’t say it properly in their language, you bring a good translator or just order in YOUR language and hope for the best. So there you are, British Petroleum, sitting on the biggest oil drilling disaster in world history and there is no doubt it is your fault. Isn’t it kind of important that your audience, the victims in this case, come away from your response feeling like you care? Nah. Probably not.

Mistakes happen. They do. Little ones…like saying the wrong things in a public forum. Big ones…like opening a crevasse in the ocean floor and polluting a trillion gallons of ocean water with crude oil. I know BP is at fault. I also have lived long enough to know that there are many contributing factors to large problems that get grayed out by things that are ‘spun’ and blown out of proportion. Like ‘small people.’ ‘Small people’ enables BIG people, who should have done something, to have cover from their contribution to the disaster.

Many have had a hand in this. Some are BP’s people, some are not. There are drilling companies, rig management, government oversight for safety, contingency planners, not to mention our government response to all of this. Our government. You know, the group that is ‘of, by and for the small people.’

The fact that all the groups involved in the drilling are responsible is a clear fact. You would have to be a complete idiot to not recognize that. Yet, the most disturbing aspect of this is how the ones who created the mess could seemingly stare mesmerized at the oil gushing from the pipe into the gulf and appear to do nothing but scratch their collective fannies and/or heads. To start a debate on whether 10,000 or 60,000 barrels of oil per day were spewing out is like trying to estimate the exact time of death of a corpse. Get off your butts and move and do something.

Our President, after 50 days, decides to go take a look. Oh I heard him on the Today Show with Matt Lauer. He claims he was down there a couple of times right after it happened. In reality, contrary to what we all believe, he has been actually monitoring the whole thing. Covertly. He has been going down there like he was sneaking away on a date with the First Lady. He went down there and was completely unnoticed by the White House Press Corps. Maybe instead of being President, he should be in the CIA.

So let’s say he was looking the whole time. It took 50 days for him to decide that someone’s ‘butt’ should be kicked. What does this say? It says that when oil is gushing into the ocean, and killing an entire ecosystem, that the Federal Government’s toleration window apparently begins when the oil slick becomes visible on military satellites. Until then, it is the state of Louisiana’s problem.

Many people have contributed to this disaster. Many continue to contribute. The line is a long and distinguished one. So let’s stop talking about ‘small people’ and let’s really focus on fixing this. I hate to point to history but I have to think that, if George Bush were President, Dick Cheney would have his boys from Halliburton in there and this would have been fixed quickly. But Halliburton isn’t bailing THIS President out.

My solution? I wouldn’t write this if I didn’t have one. First, get BP the hell out of there. They are only interested in protecting their own interests. Second, offer $20 Million Dollars to the company that can successfully cap the pipe. Straight fee. Last, the company that DOES cap the pipe gets to keep all the oil too. As a bonus. All we want as Americans is that the oil stops flowing into the gulf. If it flows into someone else’s oil tanker, as of this moment, we don’t care. If that were the deal on the table, it would probably be capped in 14 days.

Prayers to the ‘small people.’ Lots of prayers.

The Perfect Game

 (published in the Attleboro Sun-Chronicle on June 7th 2010)

Let's face it, as a society, we are pretty much going in the wrong direction. We find interest in and celebrate some of the worst aspects of our human nature. A virtual "nobody" finding notoriety because of some tawdry behavior, celebrities and politicians scandalously cheating on their significant others, and oil companies that cannot seem to accept the responsibilities that go with their criminal behavior all are raised to the headline and occupy our minds for weeks at a time.

What message does this send to our next generation? Not a good one, that's for sure. If you want to be known for something and be celebrated, it will not be because you are a person of character or decency. How wonderful.

And so it came to be that Thursday's news cycle was preoccupied with Wednesday night's baseball game between the Detroit Tigers and the Cleveland Indians. Why? Because umpire Jim Joyce made a terrible call on the last play of what would have been only the 21st perfect game thrown in Major League Baseball history. The last out was at hand when the umpire called the runner safe, ending the chance for a perfect game. On replay, the call was not just wrong, but badly wrong. Not even close.

So we are not surprised that this game was elevated to our consciousness because of the negative - the blown call - an error that was a travesty of justice. This was a perfect game that will never be counted. Is that true? I don't think so. I think, and I hope, that this game is never forgotten. As "America's Pastime," baseball is more than just wins and losses.

Following the bad call, Armando Galarraga, the pitcher and the biggest "victim" in the drama, looked at the umpire with a surprised smile and walked away peacefully. He never said a word. Jim Leyland, the Detroit manager, who came out of dugout and gave the umpire his ire, apologized for his behavior after the game. The umpire, Jim Joyce, was practically in tears following his review of the replay and apologized to everyone for making what he termed "a historic error." He apologized personally to Galarraga.

I listened to a lot of radio sports talk on Thursday. Many said, "of course they behaved that way, it is the right thing to do, it is expected." Is it? In today's day and age, we want to believe that, but that is not what we celebrate. This is written on Friday - 48 hours later. The event is out of the news cycle. Gone. If there had been a fight or bad behavior, it would be talked about right through the weekend. We simply don't celebrate the good stuff.

Like most of us, I can't tell you who the pitchers are that have thrown a perfect game, but I won't forget Armando Galarraga. The importance of putting a statistic in a record book is really to make sure that your feat is remembered. Mr. Galarraga has managed to do that even though his statistic won't be recorded in Cooperstown.

This game will be remembered for bringing out the best in our humanity. The graciousness of a pitcher, who it appears lost a spot in history. The humility of a manager who behaved poorly but quickly apologized. The accountability and remorse of an umpire for a bad mistake.

As so many of our next generation graduate and take their next step in life, I can't think of a finer example that could be given to them. Humility, graciousness, accountability, and class are the perfect gifts. So how do you define a perfect game? In my mind, this will always be the perfect game that topped them all. The only one in history that took 28 outs instead of 27. Perfect in every way we should appreciate. Thanks Jim Joyce and thanks Armando Galarraga for showing us the best we can all hope to be.